As with any celebrity death, the news out of Hollywood spreads like wildfire and, many times, dominates the news media for a day or two. Most times, I could give a shit, quite frankly. I mean, actors are human, just like you and me...they bleed. And they die. Sometimes by their own hands. When it gets right down to it, they are no different than you and me. So, one of them dies. So, what? People die all the time...lots of them horrible and tragic deaths.
But Robin Williams was different. He was magical. And for those of us that suffer and fight the demons in our sometimes endless battles...he was a savior. There was nothing that he didn't say that wasn't profound, showing intellectual penetration or emotional depth. Whether it was his balls to the wall humor or his somber, cerebral side, Robin Williams' words meant something. And that was a rarity. His raw, unabated humor gave us moments, however brief, of escape and pure pleasure. It was incredible.
Robin Williams was just funny as shit. He was unmatched. I'd watch him in amazement. You could almost literally see his mind race through the thoughts he quickly twisted and turned into jokes and tales. He seemed to be always on. And, at times, I stopped and thought, "jesus, does this guy ever slow down? Does he rest?"
Clearly, he was fighting a never ending war. He suffered from severe depression and battled with substance abuse for many years. Through all of his humor, Robin Williams was dying inside, unable to tame the beast as it ravaged his mind and soul.
Now, what if Robin Williams was a cop? How would he have handled all of this human despair that we witness and confront on a regularly? If people who commit suicide, or battle with depression, or suffer from PTSD have a propensity for these conditions and illnesses due to genetics, a chemical imbalance or what have you, how long would Robin Williams have lasted? Maybe he'd have killed himself years ago, unable to bear the pain...like so many of our brothers and sisters in blue. It's not a knock on him, but the reality is...he seemingly had the ability to utilize a plethora of effective and extensive resources at his disposal given his financial wealth and social status.
But he wasn't a cop. (Thank god...could you imagine? I'd have gone on every call with him, no matter how mundane it sounded when it would've been dispatched.) Yet, if Robin Williams, a celebrity who could literally chose the clinic, the therapist, or the doctor he wanted, succumbs to his demons, where does that leave us...the vilified police officer who can barely make ends meet and works in a profession that harbors this obese stigma for those who suffer from the "weaknesses" of PTSD, depression, anxiety, etc.? For me, his loss is heartbreaking. His masterful humor kept my head above water many days. I know, though, I'll continue to do whatever it takes, even now with this one less avenue of escape. I will persevere. But some of us, simply don't make it. The challenge, the fight can be daunting. Money is tight. EAPs are skeptical. Administrators are unresponsive. And peer support is weak.
Chew on this...More police officers die each year by their own hands than by felonious gunfire. Yeah, can you believe that shit? In 2012, there were 125 line of duty deaths, 48 of which were by gunfire. By comparison, an International Journal of Emergency Mental Health study reported 126 police suicides that same year. It's estimated that between 125 and 150 of our brothers and sisters take their own lives each year. We need to sound the alarm. We need to start taking care of ourselves and looking out for one another. Far too many times, good, devoted people give up simply because there is no support to help guide them through the darkness. In the end, Robin Williams couldn't find his way out.
Rest in peace, Mr. Williams. Your time with us was fantastical and sobering.
"You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to. "
~ Robin Williams
Cop 2 Cop 866-Cop-2Cop
Call Safe Now 206-459-3020
Badge of Life 800-273-8255
National Police Suicide Foundation 443-889-5666
No comments:
Post a Comment